They rousted me out of a nice sleep early this morning and said they were coming to take me away…so I got up and brushed me teeth and slapped some deoderant on the pits. They wouldn’t let me eat any breakfast because the machines prefer a clean slate. So I got in a chair and started watching some movie.
8:30 went right on by. 9:30…10:30…and at 10:45, the nurse said that she couldn’t find the order and there were six people scheduled ahead of me, so my scan wouldn’t happen until sometime this afternoon.
So I got to eat an ounce of Rice Krispies and a lame bagel.
I can’t think of a better way to start the day.
I had them disconnect all the cables they have attached to me and took a shower, washing off a day or two of funk, and that picked things up for me. If you can’t make it home you can at least make yourself clean. It isn’t so bad, I have a single room, and if I want to scratch where I itch I don’t have to look around first. But it isn’t home, if you know what I mean. If you’re away from home for long periods of time, then you definitely should look into a security surveillance camera.
Last night they started giving me some blood thinner by way of a shot to the gut. For a momentI thought they were kidding, but that’s apparently where it goes. I may even have to learn how to do it to myself, which I’m not looking forward to. But you discover you’ll do a lot of things to keep ticking.
I checked out some mail last night after I couldn’t find any good TV, and I got a bang out of this.
Dear Big Kahuna,
I have worked nights for years putting myself through school. Recently several people here have had problems when they got off work. I heard about your site from one of the secretaries here who showed me a couple of items she picked up from you. At first I thought she was a little nuts, but then I figured why not check out your site.
I looked everywhere but didn’t get anything. Then one night I went back to the site after reading an email you wrote about Wildfire pepper spray. A voice inside told me to get it, and also to get the water cannisters to play with.
It arrived a couple days later, and I tested it out in the back yard. Then I started carrying it, and I have to admit it made me feel good. Last week a couple of us were walking to our cars when two guys tried to rob us. I took the Mace Pepper Gun from my pocket and blasted away. I got both of these guys before anyone could figure out what happened. It sounded like cats being electrocuted. They were really screaming pretty loudly. The folks from work asked what to do next, and I said “Go home.”
That’s what we did, leaving the mooks on the street. I know you’ll have at least two more customers right quick ready to buy pepper spray.
“Be aware, alert, and have a plan.”
Truer words were ever spoken.
Jimmy
Thanks, Jimmy, I’ll be sending you a Big Kahuna T Shirt soon.