If you are feeling low and you do you take me up and take a look at these funny quotes about life.
“I’m so old they’ve cancelled my blood type.” Gracie Allen
“As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer. ” Robert Quillen
“Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. ” Jack Benny
“How young can you die of old age?” Steve Wright
Read some of the greatest quotes about life.
“Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.” Ambrose Bierce
“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.” George Burns
“Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.” Leonardo da Vinci
” It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!” Richard Jeni
Or what about these quotes about life.
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.” Benjamin Franklin
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” Ernest Hemingway
“My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?” Henry Youngman
“Americans have different ways of saying things. They say “elevator”, we say “lift” … they say “President”, we say “stupid psychopathic git.” Alexai Sayle”In America any boy may become President and I suppose it’s just one of the risks he takes.” Adlai Stevenson
“Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.” James H. Kabbler III
“Run for office? No. I’ve slept with too many women, I’ve done too many drugs, and I’ve been to too many parties.” George Clooney
“One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.” Plato
